Qualities to Look For Before Saying I Do

Pay attention and look for these qualities in a partner before saying I do to marriage.

By most accounts, Brandon and I moved very quickly in our relationship. We actually married two days after he proposed and he proposed 7 months after we started dating. Whirlwind! It was fabulous though and we were both absolutely 100% certain that we were with the right people.

I just tell people that when you know, you know. We knew.

From the very beginning, Brandon and I were both upfront and clear about our expectations in a partner and what we felt like we needed from each other. We were able to recognize our own strengths and weaknesses and identified what we needed in a partner in order to find balance and harmony. For example – I’m very logic-driven and I base decisions on provable data and statistics. I’m an INTJ and that personality type defines me absolutely perfectly. Brandon, on other hand, is an ENFP so he’s my exact opposite in almost every way. We’re opposites but we’re also perfect for one another.

Some couples prefer people with a similar personality and that’s fine too. In our case, opposites attract but if you’re a Type A that prefers other Type A people then seek out that kind of partner. It’s not really about whether you’re the same personality type or if you’re total opposites. That isn’t what really makes a relationship work, it really takes sharing core values and understanding what it means to be a partner.

Qualities to look for before saying I Do

We both had very specific requirements for a marriage partner and we were fortunate to find exactly what we both wanted and needed.

Qualities to look for before saying I Do

I knew that I wanted someone I could rely on to be a balance to me and my own personality quirks but at the very top of my list was…

Encouragement and support

Raise your hand if you struggle with self-doubt. I do and sometimes it is debilitating. I struggle with accepting my own self-worth and value, I doubt my ability to accomplish goals or dreams, and I fail to acknowledge achievements choosing instead to dismiss them as good luck or something similar. I knew I needed a partner with the heart of an encourager who could be a source of support when I was struggling with personal value.

Seek out a partner that encourages, supports, and believes in you. 


And I mean the low-down brutal give-it-to-you straight kind of honesty. Obviously, you want a person who is tactful and kind in their honesty but you should have a partner that is open and honest with you, even when it hurts. Marriage means facing hard times, making tough decisions, and overcoming obstacles together and doing that requires open communication despite the conversations being hard or awkward.

Find a partner that is able to kindly and tactfully share the truth with you in all things.


Life and marriage take a lot of hard work and commitment so it’s important to look for a partner that is willing to put in the time and the work when it’s needed. A partner that gives up easily or walks away when things get tough isn’t going to be a partner that you can rely on when you inevitably hit a life crisis of some sort. Can you partner hold up in tough situations? Can they keep it together mentally and emotionally in the face of serious challenges or unexpected events? There are going to be times you have to fight through a negative situation and you deserve to know your partner is going to be fighting with you, not against you.

Search for a partner with a heart of warrior that will fight when things are tough.

You deserve a partner so make sure your mate has these qualities recommended by @ashleyfromfbl before saying I Do. Click To Tweet

What do you look for in a partner? How does your husband/wife/partner balance you? 

Ashley LaMar
Ashley bounces between Atlanta, GA + Charleston, WV with her husband and two small dogs for life and work. If she’s not writing or blogging, she can usually be found cooking, reading, or watching baseball. Follow her on Twitter @ashleyfromfbl

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