I’m always a bit surprised by the overwhelming amount of debate over the concept of soul mates, especially when it comes to a Christian perspective on love, marriage, and finding “The One.” As Christians, I know a lot of us look for a clear “Yes” or “No” answer. So much in our faith relies on specific yes / no , good / bad answers and we’ve come to accept that there isn’t a lot of gray area when it comes to life (except for me it seems, I tend to live in the gray area most times…).
I haven’t thought much about the concept of a “soul mate” in a long time but a few days ago, during a talk with a friend of mine, I referred to my husband as my soul mate and she shot me a dirty look as she told me that the concept of a soul mate is man-made and ridiculous. She swore soul mates don’t exist. I swore that they did. It was one of the silliest arguments I’ve had in a long time, but I stand by my opinion on the matter.
What does the Bible say?
The biggest Christian argument against soul mates tends to be:
To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. – 1 Corinthians 7:8-11
The biggest Christian argument for soul mates tends to be:
“Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” – Genesis 2:18
“Two are better than one, because they have a good reward for their toil. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. But woe to him who is alone when he falls and has not another to lift him up!” – Ecclesiastes 4:9-10
But, all that aside, can I just say that we need to focus on what the issue really is and make sure that we’re not confusing a soul mate with a sole mate.
Yeah, but what’s the difference?
It’s pretty major, friends but let’s break it down very simply:
the spiritual part of a person that is believed to give life to the body and in many religions is believed to live forever
a person’s deeply felt moral and emotional nature
the ability of a person to feel kindness and sympathy for others, to appreciate beauty and art, etc.
only or single
belonging only to the person or group specified
So, a soul mate would be a person that shares your spirituality, your deeply felt moral and emotional convictions, and your kindness, empathy, and appreciation for the things that life offers.
A sole mate would be the only mate that should ever belong to you.
Yes, I firmly and passionately believe in soul mates. No, I do not believe in sole mates.
Will you always marry your soul mate?
No, I don’t think you will. There is nothing, anywhere, that ever says anything about marrying your sole mate. It does talk about being equally yoked, lifting each other up, being partners, and being fit for one another. It also talks about how it is good to stay single, in some cases.
I believe that if you marry, you should marry a soul mate. You should marry someone that shares your spirituality, your deeply felt moral and emotional convictions, and your kindness, empathy, and appreciation for the things that life offers. If you don’t connect on all of those levels, then it is better to remain single. Why marry someone that doesn’t share the essence of who you are? But, that’s not to say that you have to or that you will. Some people prefer someone who challenges them and, in some cases, opposites attract. That doesn’t mean I don’t believe there are soul mates.
It’s just important to note that soul mates come in all shapes, sizes, colors, and relationships. Your soul mate might be your sister, your best friend, your spouse, etc. It’s the person that connects with you fully, to every part of who you are and what you believe. When you find that person (or people), it’s amazing and beautiful.
I do believe, completely, that my husband is my soul mate.“Whatever our souls are made of, his and mine are the same.” -Emily Brontë #quote Click To Tweet
We don’t listen to the same music, read the same books, or love the same movies. We don’t (always) eat the same foods, have the same habits, or obsess over the same sports. Yet, he’s definitely my soul mate.
He shares my spirituality. We connect very deeply over our faith. We read the Bible together, hold devotions together, and pray together. He believes as I believe and we build each other up in love and faith.
He shares my deeply felt morals and emotional convictions. We get angry over the same injustices, fight for the same issues, and believe in the same causes. When something hits the news (like the legalization of gay marriage or the push to defund Planned Parenthood) I know he’ll feel as I feel and we can discuss the issues together.
He shares my kindness, empathy, and appreciation for the things that life offers. I understand when he buys a meal for a homeless man asking for help and he doesn’t say a word while I donate to every school or youth organization that asks. I empathize when he’s on the phone for 3 hours with a friend who’s going through a hard time and he offers to spend our Thanksgiving working for a local charity as a way of giving back.
It feels like we share a soul, like we were cut from the same cloth.
SOUL mate vs SOLE mate….there’s a huge difference.
I don’t believe in sole mates. I don’t believe that there is only one person in the entire world that you are created to be with and if you don’t find them you are destined to live feeling unfulfilled.
I do believe in soul mates. I believe they exist, and I believe you can have a lot of them. Kindred spirits, if you will.
Do you believe in soul mates? What about sole mates? Weigh in…I’d love to hear your thoughts.