10 Qualities You Should Look for in a Best Friend

I can’t help but hear this song by Yelawolf and Eminem every time I hear the phrase “best friend.”  

Ain’t never been much of the church type | But I believe in the last days
I walk through Hell almost every night | But I believe it’s a pathway
Say boy, what you doin’ with your life | With those tattoos on your face?
Say boy, you know that you’ll pay the price | Well, I guess I’ll see when I head that way
To the father son and holy spirit | I hold you nearest | My best friend, best friend
Let the trumpets blow with your appearance | I can almost hear it
My best friend, best friend
When you wish me Hell upon my soul and spirit | Behold these lyrics
I got a best friend, best friend | Yeah, I got a best friend, best friend, yeah

The song is awesome. Eminem kills it with his verse. It’s just…yeah. If you haven’t heard it you should listen to it and to make it easy for you I’ve shared the video right here. 🙂

But I digress…the prompt from Belle Brita is about best friends. What does it mean to you? What qualities do you look for in a best friend? 

10 qualities you should look for in a best friend.

What qualities should there be in a best friend?

Naturally, I love that Yelawolf is talking about God as his best friend (even though it seems he may be referencing killing a person and sending them straight to God)

I don’t know much about Holy Bibles | But I grew up in the Bible Belt
I put my love for a woman on idle | Because I got beat with my mama’s belt
But I learned from my mistakes | Try hard to respect people for what they believing in
But if you spit on my fucking grave | And wish me Hell then I wish you well
I’mma send you straight up to my best friend

but I’m not going to go that route. I’m going to talk up about in-the-flesh best friends. The person you call when you need a shoulder to cry on and who you know you can confide just about anything in and know they hold your confidence. 

I’ve put together 10 qualities that I believe a best friend should:

Offer understanding without judgement

Your best friend should be the person that you can call after making a huge mistake (like reconciling with that loser you should have never spoken to again) and know that they will be there to empathize, love, and understand without a judgement-filled lecture about how you “know better.”

Know when to give that “you know better” lecture

Even though we want understanding without judgement a best friend should know when they do have to put a toe over the line and give you that semi-parental lecture to keep you from going too far.

Be authentic and transparent 

Those “you know better” lectures will hurt but you appreciate it from your BFF because you trust that he/she is giving it to you straight. You also know that he/she is authentic about her life with you. There’s no condemnation over your brownies from the box because you know she bought the ones she served at her last party pre-made from the corner bakery. 😉 

Be trustworthy and a good secret keeper

Speaking of those straight-from-the-box brownies you are trying to pass off as homemade at the bake sale fundraiser? Your BFF will keep that secret and rave about how great they are (just because that’s what best friends do).

Have an awesome sense of humor

Don’t be fooled though, in public your BFF will rave about how awesome your brownies are but in private he/she is going to tease you relentlessly about how you forgot about them until the last minute. You’ll have private inside jokes that no one else will ever get even if you walked through every minute detail of the event leading up to the hilarity. You and your BFF just share a funny bone. That’s what BFF friendship is all about. 

Understand when it’s time to get serious

But a BFF also knows when it’s time to get serious. He/she gets that just because y’all have a lot of inside jokes and are practically family there are some things that shouldn’t be joked about. When you need a shoulder to cry on, serious advice, or a deep heart-to-heart your BFF is there.

Be dependable

A best friend is totally dependable. They are there to pick you up if your car breaks down at 2am and they don’t cancel plans 10 minutes before you’re supposed to walk out the door to meet them. They know your time and plans are valuable and they appreciate it. You know if they can’t be there or have to cancel, there’s a good reason.

Offer forgiveness without explanation

When you’re the one that can’t be there or has to cancel plans (because, let’s face it, it happens), your BFF understands and doesn’t hold it against you. When you falter, they love you anyway. When they falter, you love them anyway. That’s just what you do.

Be supportive and encouraging

And when you cancel plans (and you know at some point you will) a BFF totally gets it. If it’s something serious (like an injury, divorce, death in the family, sudden financial crisis, etc) they are there. It’s nothing but support and love because even though you’re not blood family, you’re family dammit, and there’s nothing you won’t do for family. 

Be crazy fun

Your best friend should be the person you can sing carpool karaoke with, hold at-home dance parties alongside, and nerd out over everything you love with. Being able to cut completely loose together is a very important best friend essential quality. I expect my BFF to be able to tell bad jokes and show off terrible dance skills. 

Brandon and Ashley LaMar, Best Friends
In case you were wondering what best friends looks like.

And all of those things that we expect our best friend to be? We must make sure that we embody those same qualities in return. There’s nothing worse than expecting someone else to be an amazing best friend if you’re a terrible friend yourself.

Let’s Talk…

What qualities do you look for in a best friend? Who is your best friend? How long have been you been BFF’s?

Ashley LaMar
Ashley bounces between Atlanta, GA + Charleston, WV with her husband and two small dogs for life and work. If she’s not writing or blogging, she can usually be found cooking, reading, or watching baseball. Follow her on Twitter @ashleyfromfbl

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